This is not our usual type of post, but I think it is important to show that things are sometimes not as sunny as they seem. We all have down days, and this is one of mine.
Today I Am Angry!
This morning I woke up feeling Angry! About so many things! Most of which I am unable to change. Why can’t I just let this all go and carry on living my pretty good life?
Here are a few of the things I feel Angry about:
Another celebrity has killed himself! Why?
Some of my friend’s reactions to that death. What?
The lack of response to my attempts at communication with my nieces. Why?
How my daughter knows what she needs to do but can’t make herself do it. Ugh!
My dad is not here anymore! I miss him so much!
I can’t do anything about these things!
Sometimes this world confounds me. Especially the “western society”, my world. We have food, shelter, purpose and some of us are lucky enough to have friends and family. So why do we just ignore these things and take it all for granted?
How hard is it to feel sad at someone else’s loss? It doesn’t matter if you knew the person who passed, you know how you would feel to lose someone you loved. Devastated!
Communicate! It is pretty easy these days and doesn’t need to be much. An emoji will do!
Why do we have to put others before ourselves? Sometimes you just need to do what is going to help you, or you might end up being the person in point one!
There is nothing to say about my sorrow for the loss of my Dad, he is gone and can’t come back. I will miss him forever, and that is how it should be. He was a beautiful man, and so very, very kind and loving to me.
I guess, I just want you all to think about what is important. Not “Things”, but people and relationships. Show each other you care. Care! Life can be bloody awful, tough and down right fucked up sometimes, and that is when we really need each other. Try to be understanding and just show you care. Appreciate each other.
Ride Your Own Ride
So, to follow on from being Angry, I would like to share my learnings on life over the past four years. It is pretty simple. A few days ago, I was having a discussion with my eldest daughter, Harper, about my youngest daughter, Olivia. Olivia is struggling with her life, and we are trying to help her, but not really knowing what is right to do for her. Harper and I were talking about how difficult it can be, and it brought me to thinking about how I felt at the beginning of my cycle touring, and motorbike riding.
When I started, I thought I had to keep up with the people who had been doing it for a lot longer than me. I kept comparing myself to them and wondering why I couldn’t keep up (on the bicycle), go as fast (on the motorbike), or do all the things they could.
Then one day, after a lot of sorrow and frustration, I finally realised the answer to all those questions. I am NOT them. I am ME! Oh my god, it is so simple. I am not them, I have just begun to learn what they have been practicing for a lot longer. I am me, and maybe I will never be as good as someone else, but I can work on being the best me I can be.
After that realisation, I began to just enjoy my riding, both bicycle and motorbike. I do what I like to do while cycle touring, and funnily enough, I have gotten a lot better, and more confident in how I ride, where I can ride, and what my limits are. I am still trying to push those limits, but I am in no rush. I’m riding my own ride. On the motorbike, I don’t go as fast as other riders, I go at my own pace, enjoying the feeling of freedom I get, and the confidence I have in myself at my speed. I don’t feel inferior because I can’t race around the corners at ridiculous speeds, I feel happy that I am able to safely manoeuvre the bends and enjoy it. I ride my own ride!
After this discussion and talking about this topic, I realised that it is a saying that should and does apply to your life. In YOUR life, just “Ride your own ride!”. Go at your own pace. Live the way you want to, not the way Society wants you to. Be yourself, love what you do, and be happy with who you are. You might take longer, you might do things differently, you might never get it right (by Societies standards), it doesn’t matter.
Just Ride Your Own Ride!
Don’t panic, less than 5 weeks to go to the Canada/USA cycle tour, and we are both looking forward to it immensely. Life is still fucking awesome !!!
2 thoughts on “Winter is Difficult!”
Jen my friend…brilliant x
Love you Jenny!
Enjoy The Ride … M